party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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