I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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