So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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