I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He shit in the fireplace
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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