we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
