and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
