I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Randomize
