Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
