Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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