That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize