That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
