drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
