Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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