I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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