we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
