why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
