she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
