C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
