i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
They are going to name an STD after you.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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