Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
