All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
