I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
