People in love make me want to vomit
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
