Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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