"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Porn is love you can see.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
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