Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
