that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
