It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
