That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
