My room smells like vodka and shame
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
