YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
