I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
