You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
