Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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