I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
