No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
