My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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