I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I am one with the molecules
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
