ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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