you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
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