Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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