Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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