Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
