Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
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