I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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