i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
