i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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