I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
