he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize