So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
