We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
