So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
