Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize