Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
