I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
