the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
