if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
