talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
