Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
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