gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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