I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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