I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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